Undated Letters

Anna Beddoes to Davies Giddy, perhaps late 1803

I never meant to insinuate my dearest love that you had ever, or were ever likely to shew more tenderness than a brother might – but I only reflect that had you not perceived in me something that you ought not to have found, you never would have felt forbearance necessary. When I said to you yesterday that if you had it in your power you would not make me your wife it is from the conviction that you would not have that confidence in me that a husband ought to have in his wife ---- but I dare not go on

Anna Beddoes to Davies Giddy

You know how very dearly I love you – I love you for every thing but we never shall be the better for it - When I used to lie on the sofa your kisses were then all repeated and this pleasure can never be taken from me –

but I entreat you never to kiss me again – I cannot bear it – I never can be in your arms but you may be confident I am never in another’s – this is to me the greatest happiness I can experience we must

Anna Beddoes to Davies Giddy, perhaps late 1805 early 1806

You seemed to suffer so much on Friday that I could not bear to see you – do not avoid me it will be my own fault if our being together is a source of concern to you - but if you avoid me I feel your return, when you come unexpectedly into the room, so strongly that I shall certainly betray myself – If we always come together as brother & sister – we shall be more at liberty to express some part of that affection so much of which must be suppressed – but if from consciousness of our situation we keep aloof from each other we shall only make things worse –

Anna Beddoes to Davies Giddy, perhaps 1808

Time rolls on and I hope you are making use of every opportunity for concluding the affair you have so prosperously begun – while your poor father yet lives make him happy in a way he never yet had been – you will regret the useless delay should you be too late.[1]

Notes

[1] A possible context for this note is Giddy’s uncertainty in early 1808 about whether to marry Mary Gilbert. His father was by then seventy-three or four.