Anna Beddoes to Davies Giddy, 27 January 1808
Weeping is to the mind what bleeding is to the body, it relieves you from a very painful feeling of fullness, & oppression, and leaves you in a state of languor not unpleasant —— to those at least who have suffered for any length of time — your kindness has caused a change in me that I did not think possible all resentment is gone — after a short sleep last night I awoke, your image appeared before me and my tears flowed incessantly what is past, and what is to come, by turns filled my mind, and I indulged myself in shedding tears that have done me more good that any thing else can do — I have been unjust to you – and by suffering certain feelings to take an unwarrantable hold of my mind, have lost a thousand little delightful traits that might have fixed our friendship and saved us both a world of suffering – I alone have been to blame no one, situated as you have been could have acted so well — The time is now come for me to make you some amends for the pain I have given you – by letting you henceforth see a chearful countenance, and a sisterly affection as warm & tender as what you find from your own sister – an expression a look may perhaps now and then escape me which ought not, but you can forgive me – I hope I am not so selfish as to give a third person pain – more especially when that person will be the means of giving you all you want a home happiness & children – the little magic circles I will have they can hurt nobody — & it wi[MS torn] my dear delight —— I truly [MS torn] assure you nothing on my pa[rt] shall be concealed from you – And now my dearest Friend I want to say a word of yourself alone — It has long struck me that you would be much more considered if you considered yourself more — why is every fool or knave to come to you for assistance? Do I intreat you be a little less generous in this respect your time & health you have no right to squander away – now more especially when domestic ties will soon call you to new duties – a Father, a good Father is much with his child — Davies my dear Davies adieu for the present
Anna
Address: For Dear Davies
Endorsement: 1808 / Jany the 27th