Anna Beddoes to Davies Giddy, August 1804 [copy]
[in Giddy’s hand]
Why have my tears been flowing! why is my heart so sad he is going but all of him that I may & ought to have is left with me – merciful Heaven he has accused me of loving him less – alas! the passion which keeps me in a perpetual fever never will leave me – my Blind faith is my ruin. I some times tremble with desire that never can be justified. I would not exchange this sweet agonizing feeling, for any thing but a reality that never will be my lot – all that has been painted by the warmest imagination I have felt – all but the reality – and how well I know that all that can be described of this bewitching passion would be experienced by us – When all is dark I imagine you beside me I fancy you press with firm hand the little Bosom you are so fond of – your soft hand wanders over my whole person, our limbs entwine together – but nothing more – no I never have taught you of my love
Endorsement: 1804 / Augst