Anna Beddoes to Davies Giddy, 1 December 1803 (copy)
Were the little gentle kisses that I breathed over your cheeks crimes! Gracious Heaven! why hast thou made it so hard not to be criminal – had we not been dignified by the name of man, we should have been innocent, had we been two birds, two butterflies should we not have freely sported without a thought of harm surely thus originated the enchanting metamorphosis of such Times - had we been two roses would not our blushing heads have hung so close that dew drops from one would have sunk upon the drooping bosom of the other, would not the zephyrs have intermingled their sweets! Has the air more power over a senseless flower than upon a feeling heart, does not the honey’d gale of spring rouse the senses <even> to agony! Blessed prerogatives of man, to be endowed with ever wakeful delicious sensation which it is his duty to hush asleep!
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A cultivated mind without the aid of conversation is like a meadow neglected by the scythe – nothing new springs up – but how fresh and green is the meadow cropped perpetually by the mower, so sprout up fresh ideas when pruned by the sickle of conversation.
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How many thousand hours are gone?
Nor yet our favourite scheme is done,
All will be buried in a sigh
Ere many thousand more shall fly.
Yes I dare tell you what I felt I am far from you – I may never see you again – your eyes may never even look upon these words yet while I write Hope whispers we shall once more meet, once more shall I press that breathing heart heart to mine – what emotion did I feel when your languid head rested upon my shoulder when I fearfully sought in your eyes, what I trembled lest you should find in mine – the security I felt in this dangerous situation, the pride at having warmed a heart glowing with virtue at having interested an understanding such as yours, raised me in my own opinion while too probably, I sank in yours.
As we sat together reading the letter your arm pressed round me, I knew not what we were saying, when I turned towards you, our eyes asked each others lips leave to meet – – they did meet, and from that moment I slept no more – Oh I cannot, I must not go on
Endorsement: 1803 / Decr the 1st