Anna Beddoes to Davies Giddy, written on or shortly before 6 May 1801 [1]
Ten thousand thanks for your kind advice – the wife of your friend is again worthy of him – but indeed I am not so bad as you think me – I cannot enough thank you for the trouble you have taken – my feelings are convinced though not my reason – this does not signify, the end gained, the means are not of much consequence – I very much regret indeed the loss that I have sustained in your good opinion – it is a sad misfortune to be thought ill of by the good – but you have stopped me before it was too late you are a thousand times my brother, though I shall be ashamed ever to see you again. – Tell me what I shall do about my picture, it is in the hands of a certain person [2] – how am I to get it back again – There is one thing more which I am particularly anxious about – he told me when at Clifton that he had made a will in which he has left me a large legacy, to this I objected as strongly as I could, and after many ineffectual remonstrances, I spoke to the Dr who said little & seemed to think as little about it, though he appeared to me better pleased than I did. – Now supposing there was no impropriety in this, still it would be extremely disagreeable – Dr B has money enough and if he had not, I had rather be poor, than rich by such means – Tell me, do pray tell me what I shall do, – I requested him as the greatest favour he could do me to leave me nothing – He replied that he had settled handsomely on his wife & children, & he had a right – to leave his money to whom he pleased still he has many relations – I have no right to it on the contrary – I think it a crime to receive it – pray do tell me what to do, for I won’t have it–
And now as I look upon this poor man in quite a different light from what I did a short time since – I hope you will not attribute what I am going to say in his favour to any motive but justice. – He is not indeed a bad Husband – numbers of his friends know, and pity his domestic unhappiness – he married very young, contrary to the wishes of his friends – who warned him in vain of her violent temper – he did not marry her from interest for she had no money, but he loved her, and he could find in her no imperfection. I have heard that there could not be a kinder, or more indulgent Husband, till she made his home so wretched that he sought peace elsewhere – every friend of hers in distress, & she had not a few of her < own> relations, he relieved & they came to borrow money of him as if he xxxxx was the hen that laid golden eggs. – He has a daughter of whom he was xx dotingly fond, this poor girl beautiful & accomplished, was partly educated by Mrs Barbauld. [3] She married an uncommonly clever man with the most insinuating manners – she married it seems to escape from her mother – the man however turned out to be xxx extremely wicked xxxxx this was discovered a day or two after her marriage – he had imposed upon her parents as a man of fortune when he had nothing – he beats, locks up, drags his poor wife about the the [4] house by the hair of her head – she is excessively meek, and lives in constant terror of this monster – she is made to write letters <to her mother> of his dictating for he will stand over her threatening most horridly – once even a pistol was produced xxxxx & she is obliged to say she is happy.[5] – When Mr W. first heard of his wickedness, he was instantly driven out of his senses, and was under Dr Williams care for some time – I will say no more about him – I am sorry for him – but I will think no more of him – He writes to say he hopes he has not offended me for I have not written, I don’t know what to do, the letters I write to him all the world might see. But you advise me not.
There is one thing still which I have not yet told you which is worse than all – xx you advise me to write with perfect confidence, which you see I do– and you need not assure me it is not misplaced, I feel perfectly satisfied of that – I am sure you would not betray me even to your sister though there was one cruel half formed sentence in your letter. – Then I must tell you that I have been induced to make a most foolish promise, which I most truly hope it never may be in my power to accomplish – but which if it is I never will keep – you guess what it was for I dare not tell this even to you – but I want to know whether I ought to say any thing about this to him – or what I had best do. [6] If you will kindly extricate me out of all these scrapes, I promise you I will never get into any more.
I remain most gratefully
Yours A.M.B.
And now I have left nothing untold.
Address: Davies Giddy Esq
Endorsement: 1801 / May the 6th
Notes
[1] The single sheet beginning ‘There is one thing still …’ was endorsed by Giddy, 6 May 1801. There is no extant postmark. If 6 May was the date that Giddy received the letter, then it was probably sent c. 2 May, so written on or shortly before 2 May. If 6 May was the date of a postmark, then the letter was written on or shortly before 6 May.
[2] William Wynch.
[3] Flora Wynch (1776–1842), the first paying pupil of Anna Laetitia Barbauld (1743–1825). See William McCarthy, Anna Letitia Barbauld: Voice of Enlightenment (Baltimore and London, 2008), p. 266.
[4] Anna’s repetition.
[5] Flora married James Legge Willis (1761–1842) in 1795. He was appointed, by 1798, Consul-General of Senegambia – a post unlikely to appeal to a wealthy man because the likelihood of dying of disease in Africa was very high.
[6] Anna had promised to marry Wynch if they both became available by the deaths of their spouses.