Anna Beddoes to Davies Giddy, 10 May 1802
May 10th
Do I forget you! No indeed I do not nor ever shall, you have made me a better, and a happier woman, I think of you very often, and when I am looking at my dear little girl my heart swells with the warmest gratitude towards you – Why then did I not write to you before? because a sort of shame prevents me, and an apprehension that you might suspect I had deceived you on a certain subject – this is an idea so painful to me that I really could not bring myself to write, this is now almost worn away, my little Anna’s untutored countenance speaks most eloquently, if you have any doubts Look on her face, and you’ll forget them all’ [1]
At this time last year when I was writing to you, I was unconscious of this little beings existence – and now she is as it were my little guardian angel – I shall say no more on this subject for it is not the most agreeable
Our poor friend Maria Thompson, (I say our, because you take an interest in in all that concerns this unfortunate girl) is now in Ireland, happy I cannot say but not so miserable as she was I have some hope she will yet be as happy as it is possible for one who has already suffered so much to be, her third sister who is far handsomer has been extremely ill, the Dr who is very anxious about her thinking her one of the most (if not the most) charming beautiful amiable & sensible young creature he ever saw, ventured to prevail upon a friend with whom the mother had left her at Clifton to commit a pious fraud as he called it, and put her under his care, the poor girl tho very ill, was not better treated on this account, for so inveterate is her mother against us that she said she would as life [2] her daughter were in Hell as under Dr B.s roof – I’ll take care my little Anna shall love her mama, it is a shocking thing for mother and daughter to be so unhappy together – you must write to me and tell me how you do, and what you do, and whether you were very happy when Peace was proclaimed <announced> [3] – Dear Emmeline is at Edgeworthstown, [4] she desires always to be remembered to you and your most dear sister whom we both love but my love is as a sisters love, and a most dear sister too – Tell me how you like Dr B’s Essays on Health? & what you dislike [5] – and now God bless you and love, and shave you, aye, and cut comb, & powder, your hair into the bargain William Lambton[6] sends his love to you, and hopes your Glass Beehives are going on well and wishes you would come here again and, and, and, he is learning your favourite study algebra, he is trying quadratic equations &c &c –––
I hope you will migrate this season – Dr is very well, and between writing and curing & killing very busy
farewell dear good man
your very affectionate
AMB
If you think me quite good again you will tell me so soon – and tell me whether you will not love little Anna very much. [7]
I will write to your sister in a few days
Anna
Address: Davies Giddy Esq / Tredrea / Marazion / Cornwal
Postmark: 122 / Bristol / May 11 18
Endorsement: 1802/ May the 10th
Notes
[1] Here Anna is darkly hinting, as becomes clear later in the correspondence, that, given what she had told him about her love affair in 1800–1, Giddy might think that her firstborn, ‘little Anna’, had been fathered by William Wynch rather than by her husband.
[2] This word has been written as a correction over another word.
[3] The Treaty of Amiens was signed 25 March 1802 and ended hostilities between France and the United Kingdom. The peace lasted only until 18 May 1803 when Britain declared war on France again.
[4] The family estate in County Longford, Ireland where Anna had grown up.
[5] See mid-late April 1802, note 5.
[6] The boys whom the Beddoes were fostering and educating: see 8 Nov. 1800, note 10.
[7] This note is added in pencil, written at 90 degrees to the main text, in the space left under the signature.