Thomas Beddoes to Maria Thompson, [September/October 1803] (11)
Had you been a judge in Israel, I suppose you would have made rare work for the tooth-drawers and the gougers. For you know the law is, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth; and you would have seen these retaliations punctually executed. If you had been a puritan in Charles the first’s time, you would have beaten old Praise-God-Barebones himself, in starchness. But you cannot be a judge in Israel, nor a puritan in Charles’s reign. You may be an old maid though. It is not likely, I am sensible; but if you should, you will be the pattern of the whole sisterhood. Don’t you know why? I will tell you. You require letter for letter so precisely, that no doubt you will be equally punctilious in exacting courtesy for courtesy, nod for nod, and visit for visit; and I am not sure if you will give your husband a kiss extra.
For my part I have been busy beyond example, but this day I am released from my Essay-bondage. I have finished nineteen long ones; the last, last night, and now I am a little my own master again. [ . . . ] Had I had a moment’s time I would have told you about poor Mrs. —–. I can tell you nothing agreeable; after her relapse things went on ill, and I see no sign of amendment. [ . . . ] I never saw a man make more exertions or shew more affection for a woman, not even for a mistress, than her husband. He is really unwell and may be thrown into a consumption; by frequent colds, not by contagion.
I wish you may have got a fine collection of sea plants. The fuci, and which are extremely elegant, abound I believe on your coast. I perceive you were nettled, by the charge of a little obstinacy. But you see what some people call obstinacy, others may style firmness. At all events, it is good to know the worst that those who in general think well of us, have to say. This is rare, men and women are such hypocrites.
Published: Stock, pp. 296–97