Anna Beddoes to Humphry Davy, 26 December 1804
How oft, the little sportive child
Seizing every flowret wild
With feeble hand half crops the stem
And leaves to dye the drooping gem!
Unconscious of the slightest harm
His joyous breath with rapture warm
From bank to bank unthinking flies
Nor knows the weeping flowret dies –
So have thy needless glances stray’d
And many a virgin heart betray’d,
From fair to fair their lightenings dart,
And strike the gazer to the heart –
Those eyes with liquid lustre bright
In softer eyes have quenched their light
Eyes, that withdraw their timid beams
And only dare to gaze in dreams.
And yet regardless of thy power
Some tender maid each changeful hour
Is doom’d in silent grief to pine
Or paint it, in the glowing line-
December 26th 1804
You will readily guess what gave rise to this little simile [1] – and it will convince you of one thing at least my dear Davy that I did not forget you immediately after you left me, for you were no sooner gone than the lines came to my head & had I known where to direct to you at Bath they should have reached you before you left it – I suppose from the experience you have had of my conduct, I deserved it, but you cannot tell how much pain your last observation gave me – that I should forget you, and think no more about you! Yet I do most certainly deserve it for I have in former days treated you with unkindness that you have the generosity to forgive – of all those who know you best I have most reason to value the qualities of your heart and I believe at this moment you have not a more sincere admirer no not even amongst the young and beautiful than she who berated you with such ungentleness. Yet when I reflect a moment, might I not rather to be pleased at the expression – is it not a proof that you do not wish to be forgotten & of course that you value my friendship –
Whether it is valued by you or not you most certainly have it; and indeed I feel that you do wish it, for you have placed in me a confidence that you would not otherwise have done – I hope you succeeded in finding Ly G. D. – if you have, do tell me what you think of her, whether she is charming – and possesses equal superiority of mind, as person – I once heard that this lady was to go to America – and now my dear Davy let me thank you for the kind present you have sent me, your picture [2] I shall value it exceedingly – it puts me in mind of the days that are past; not those in [word missing] we quarrelled but others which we passed in mutual confidence – the impression of these seem far from wearing out, seems to sink deeper and deeper into my mind – the features are like but the expression of the eyes is not the same as yours; when first I saw the print I thought the face handsomer than yours, but you love caprice. I have changed my mind and now cannot find half the expression that ought to be. I like the picture on another account – and if you cannot find out what it is, & have any desire to know what I will tell you – pray do not forget to send me your poems – and pray, pray do not forget me altogether – I will not ask you to write to me because I hope and believe your time is far better filled up even in recreation – your mind appeared so vividly alive the last time I saw you that it roused the almost extinguished spark of ambition in my bosom – Farewell my heart is I hope improved if my understanding is not – I know not what reason it is but I cannot write, or think of you without the most melancholy sensations – adieu – I am almost ashamed to send this letter but when you have read it you will have the goodness to destroy it –
MS: Royal Institution MS HD/26/H/9
Notes
[1] Anna and Davy had just met, he having travelled from Bath to Bristol to see her. Evidently he gave her a print of his portrait, while also asking her to forget about him as a lover. These two somewhat contradictory things, plus Anna’s knowledge that his London lectures had brought him many female admirers, prompted her to write the poem.
[2] Probably the engraving by S. W. Reynolds of the painting by Henry Howard that had been exhibited at the Royal Academy in 1803. The painting is now in the National Portrait Gallery.